It was about 10:00 in the morning in late June. My wife and I had been up for a few hours. My daughter also was up, drinking apple juice and playing with her dolls in her pretty-in-purple bedroom. My eight-year old son struggled to his feet and arched his back forward like a tabby stretching after an afternoon nap. Soon, we all found ourselves lingering in the front room, thinking about plans for the day. The television was on and the morning sun blazed through the wide window. I thought of the work that needed to be done that day (our kitchen was being renovated and EVERYTHING was in a constant state of “MESS”).
I really want to help my kids by teaching them the value of work. I thought about what my daughter could do (age 5) and about what my son could help with that day. Our kitchen cabinets had just been installed the previous day, and there were LOTS of cardboard boxes that needed to be taken out to the street for the garbage pick-up. That, I thought to myself, sounds like a job for the boy. As we sat in the front room, I revealed to my son that I had a small project that I needed his help with. THAT was enough. It was all over. Let the complaining and griping begin.
“What?” he protested. “More work? I’ve been helping you guys all day! Eyebrows set deep, he firmly dug himself in for a battle. He was NOT going to do ANY MORE WORK that day. Surprised, my wife and I asked for clarification. “Helping us all day” we asked. “What have you done? What WORK have you been doing ALL DAY?” (mind you, it is just after 10:00am.)
I guess sometimes I don’t realize the stress and responsibilities that I place on my own kids, something I’m really working on. I do get accused of being unempathetic sometimes. His response gave us quite the kick in the gut. “I already picked up my pillows and blankets ’cause you guys made me,” he explained. “AND, I changed the channel on the TV because you couldn’t find the remote!” (yes, he said that.)
My wife and I got quite the laugh at this, and things eventually got better as the day went on. I ended up compromising on the cardboard boxes. They make excellent forts when taped together with masking tape. Two days later, just before trash day, he did move them up to the street. But this whole incident got me thinking…have I neglected to start my children down the path of responsibility, family contributions, and competency?
I’ve done some reading in the area of getting children started on helping out around the house; doing household chores. Studies have shown that children who initially become active in helping mom and dad out around the house at the early ages of three and four tend to be more ’successful’ as they enter the work force. Additionally, children who prolong this entrance into household responsibilities are ‘less successful’. This study comes from the University of Minnesota and is available for you to read online.
I also found hints and suggestions about when to start children doing chores, what type of chores to have children perform, what to expect as parents, and why chores are important for children. “Involving children in household tasks at an early age helps them learn values and empathy as well as responsibility. It is important for children to internalize values when they are young because household responsibilities continue to play a significant role throughout one’s life.” (University of Minnesota, Research Works”)
So the next time you ask your child to do some tough chores like picking up toys in the bedroom or sticks in the yard, or maybe even…changing the channel on the TV using…a…finger (gasp), remember that it will be beneficial in the long run as well as in the short run. I would urge you to google “children and household chores” to read more about this valuable lesson for children.
Posted by rodstorm007 